Welp, you found me

Welcome to my blog, please don't hate me

djsckatzen:

WHEN UR FRIENDS TELL U THAT U SUCCESSFULLY HELPED CHEER THEM UP

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(via breakfastburritoe)

(via dutchster)

whynotelsanna:

griddlemethis:

Pancake with all the colors of the wind.

i can’t even make a circular pancake what the fuck is this shit

(via tyleroakley)

dutchster:

*stares at a painting for 15 minutes*
what is this it looks like a really ugly baby
sir this is your baby it’s an ultra sound

(via dutchster)

sluttyemoji:

TALL BOYS

VERY VERY TALL BOYS

BOYS 

THAT ARE TALL

BOYS WITH HEIGHT

I LOVE IT

(via breakfastburritoe)

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via geheimzinnig)

merwhore:

everyone i’m attracted to is out of my league and in a different country

(via geheimzinnig)

  • me flirting: wanna follow me on tumblr

dangerouspoetry:

dangerouspoetry:

my dad just came in and tossed this at me saying it “came with the paper”

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I’m nearly a 20 year old man

update:

I gave in

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her name is stephanie

(via dutchster)

milotlc:

Mom… dad… I’m moving out

(via nice-wig-janis)

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

steampoweredsass:

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger

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WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE

I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth

(via dutchster)

darling-im-sad:

carterreynoldsismine:

loki-is-my-god-now:

and-mine-would-be-you:

t0morrowcomest0day:


I don’t care who the fuck you are, or what you’re doing. You can take 3 seconds to reblog this.

I miss you..

That last comment broke my heart..

my brother

almost me

my cousin

darling-im-sad:

carterreynoldsismine:

loki-is-my-god-now:

and-mine-would-be-you:

t0morrowcomest0day:

I don’t care who the fuck you are, or what you’re doing. You can take 3 seconds to reblog this.

I miss you..

That last comment broke my heart..

my brother

almost me

my cousin

(via thatscalledkarma)

savanitabonita:

hopefor-thehopeless:

you’re probably going to dance with another girl who will taste like fresh picked strawberries and smell like flowers blossom in her hair

and you’re probably going to choke down 5 shots of straight vodka and get the thought of me out of your head and focus on the girl dancing with you who wants to be your apple pie but you can’t see the diamonds in her eyes because you’re staring at the ones hanging around her neck and you can’t feel her pull you in closer because she’s reaching farther behind your head of dark hair and tapping shoulders of random guys she’s never even met

and when this happens I hope you run to the dingy bathroom and splash your face with dirty water and vomit up the words you never said because while you’re out drowning your heart in things I shouldn’t care about I’m here looking at the moon whispering how much I fucking love you

and if you take her home I swear to God the moonlight will keep you awake no matter what time it is and you’ll watch it shine across your bedroom floor where we danced and laughed and I almost told you that you are my night sky

and I hope the light catches your attention more than the sight of her would and I hope when you wake up all your remember is that roses are my favourite scented flower and you can’t escape the light of the moon

I’m in the kind of mood where reading this made me cry.

(via thatscalledkarma)

richardcreech:

MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION

GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA

(via officialfrenchtoast)